SOAP OPERA

Nothing really is bizarrely out of place when one sees Rancho & co. screaming and scratching there asses to sing All Is Well while bathing. In fact, I don’t know what affinity music has to water that it can be traced all the way back to the history. Remember lavish Turkish and Persian Hamams, where gentry used to go for community bathing, having trained musicians playing live music. Or the famous Pandits and Ustads carrying out there Riyaz in the river banks and the world famous music festivals in Benares Ghats and the likes. And of course the Megh Malhar which is supposed to have brought rains in the midst of fiery famines. Then we have ubiquitous saree-clad bollywood heroines using music and rains as catalyst to accelerate some unknown reactions. So, surely water and music are as close as Dal-Middle class, Afridi-sanity, Thakeray-Bhaiyyas are un-close.
But the thing turns even more magical as soon as we step into the bathroom. God knows what provokes whom, but its sure that no one gives a better shot at singing anywhere, than at the bathroom. I have tried to research on what is so motivating that this phenomenon is so universal. Here’s something I have observed and jotted down. Firstly it’s the close confines of a bathroom, which gives one the sense of identity and confidence coupled with isolation. So the shy ones and the horrible-voiced ones give it a try here. Another reason can be the stereophonic sound effects given by the smooth surface and tiles, which make your sound, appear human-ish. May be there is something to do with the nakedness. One of the possibilities could be the chemical deRajulization caused by either foam, or lotions, or soaps, or the combination of the three. And then there is the biggest reason: ‘water’
Whatever the reason being; bathroom singing brings out the singer in you. I remember my debut performance at the age of 5 or 6, and it was straightaway termed as evils of television by my parents. Since then I have grown miles in the pursuit (and now I claim to crack any ceiling in the world with my singing). In a persons career the Bathroom Singing hits peak when he is in the college (this can be possibly for two reasons, one they have nothing useful to do, and second time comes for free). I still remember a guy in the hostel bathroom singing full throttle ‘Aanan Faanan’, (courtesy: Himesh reshamiya) which made me suffer bouts of nightmare for months.
As soon as you get your hostel room allotted next to the bathroom or to its proximity, you immediately have yearly music subscription for free. And yes it comes to you in a whole lot of variety and genres ranging from MJ to Ustad Akbar Khan, Lata to Aguilera, and Pink Floyd to Elvis Presley, that too at customized versions. Sometimes, generally on Sundays and holidays, it can start off as a chain reaction. First bathroom occupant exciting the trigger and rest all in other bathrooms abruptly join and you have what is known as a musical explosion.
There are also some trends which I have observed. The songs vary seasonally. Summertime evokes romantic and slow songs while winter always makes one sing pacy numbers. Current musical scene also decides what’s in the jukebox. Songs most frequent on Fm and the latest bollywood flicks find maximum privilege. There are also some evergreens too in the Bathroom Singing circuit. Then there are idiosyncrasies like there was a guy who used sing in female voice and a chap who used to metamorphise to a rapper in a flash as he entered the studio…errr bathroom. The playlist also depends on nearness to exams. The tempo and the tune of the song is also adjusted depending on various factors like whether one is getting late for the college or not, tap/shower water flow, and which body part one is rubbing, and temperature of the water. It may also depend on whether this is the first, second, or third time in the month one is bathing (as mostly he baths maximum thrice in a month).
This piece of enlightenment isn’t written so that you get conscious next time you are in the bathroom. Bathroom Singing is a symbol of naturalness, of liberation, of defiance. So take it as for what it stands for. This is an art which has endured all the vagaries of time; you have got it passed down to you by your ancestors. (imagine your primitive ancestors yelling hulla-hulla tribal tunes while diving from a 30 foot tree top ;) ). So, next time you are in bathroom sing your hearts out. With poise and poison. Happy singing. Addieuxx..