VISION 2020 PART-2

There’s an unwritten rule when it comes to sea foods. “It’s more exotic if it’s more bizarre”. Scary scales, creepy claws and hoary tentacles are taken as delights in culinary credenda. In order to savor the heights of exotica, one day I decided to fall for some Octopus. It too didn’t disappoint me. It was good actually. 6 hours later, I got up after a nightmare. I saw I am in the middle of the sets of the movie Gladiator except for a few things that instead of Colloseum it was a soccer stadium, instead of a lion , the predator was a giant Octopus and the worst part it was me as the Gladiator. The Octopus says ‘ me ‘Paul’ takes oath of the seas that I’ll finish you off’. I ask ‘why me?’ To that he replies ‘coz it was you who killed my brother last night…v for vengeance..v for vendetta..!!’ And oh thank God it was over. A pang of guilt hit me. Was the octopus I relished on last night Paul’s brother? Am I really a sinner? Anyways I got along my daily routine as usual. Then in a couple of days I realized that I have somehow acquired a magical power of uncanny forevision, of predicting the events. I think the consumption of Paul’s cousin vested me with some of the Paul’s prediction powers. Every night I’ll have a vision of some or the other future events. Here I have written down some of my foresight. This is how I saw my country, my countrymen and their leaders.

•India is a sovereign republic with 80 states and 60 constitutionally recognized languages.
•Sikkim is the largest state of the country. Some of the separatists are demanding for the formation of a new state ‘Jhumri Talaiya’
•Dr. Manmohan Singh is the president of India. Opposition has smeared him a ‘weak president’ and a puppet in the hands of the PM Rahul Gandhi.
•2020 census states that the Bangladeshi migrants are the largest ethnic group in the country. They are demanding a reservation of 25% in jobs and educational institutes.
•Bihar holds the unique distinction of producing 15 railway ministers in a row.
•Ajit Singh has switched 15 different political parties and formed 5 new parties in the last decade.
•Shashi Tharoor has founded new political party TJP Twitter Janta Party. Symbol of the party is ‘cattle’.
•There are 17 members of the Karunanidhi’s family in the central cabinet.
•Rakhi Sawant gets Rajya Sabha membership.
•China has engulfed Ladakh & Leh and controls majority of the north eastern states. ‘Indian govt. doesn’t consider Chinese aggression as any threat to the national security’ says defence secretary.
•BJP is fighting next elections on the issue of hanging Ajmal Kasab. Kasab has reported human rights violation by India at UN.
•Menka Gandhi is staging indefinite hunger strike for the cause of ‘dogs’. Reason: One of the member of the parliament has allegedly called the MP’s of the ruling party as dogs.
•Yesterday was the last day of Monsoon Session of the parliament. The day started off with MP’s throwing tomatoes, eggs, chairs, stationary etc at each other and ended up with Tug of War.
•A charge sheet has been filed against for the construction of Maya Mahal (a copy of Taj Mahal) right in front of Taj Mahal in Agra.
•ND Tiwari caught in an uncompromising position with the housekeeper of the old age home he lives in.
•India ranks 227 in HDI (Human Development Index) . PM has congratulated the nation for being ahead of two nations of the world. Ethiopia and Somalia.
•KPS Gill and Suresh Kalmadi are still the chairman of Indian Hockey Federation and Indian Olympic Council respectively.
•UID project to take two more years for completion.
•Naxalites have a pan-India presence and are currently fighting for the freedom of J&K.
•Jai Ram Ramesh has decided not to speak in public again.
•Home Minister visits US for finalizing Indo-US nuclear deal.
•India confident of getting permanent seat in security council.
•Defense ministry has solved Siachen problem with a creative approach. It has removed 5000 soldiers from the Siachen base and instead placed Himesh Reshamiya with mic in his hand. Pakistanis are reported to have fled 500 km away from the LOC.
•The court is left to go through with only 100 pages of the 14000 page report submitted by Lalit Modi after IPL3 scam in 2010.
•Bal Thakre who started his political career with opposing South Indians, then Muslims, then Bhaiyyas in Mumbai, is currently bent on remoiving Marathis from Mumbai. According to him Mumbai is only for Thakres ( the ones with title can live in the city)